what's topic of today?
heheh.. hi everyone..
im in the office doing nothing when system down
hikss. so take this opportunity
to share something with u all
IS THIS STYLE OF BREAKUP FAMILIAR TO YOU?
A couple has been together for years.
So the girl thinks its time that the guy 'masuk meminang'
and to arrange a meeting date with her parents.
Her valid reason is that since their rship has matured,
its high time to tie the knot and enter the BIG M.
BUt everytime she poses this issue to her boyfriend,
he appears nonchalant about it,
sometimes changing the issue,
making jokes about it, or totally ignore it.
THis made the girl kinda sceptical
and sad at the same time.
How could the guy make fun of such thing
when they have indeed talked about
the kind of wedding they r gonna have,
how their kids r gonna be like,
what kind of house they r gonna buy,
what kind of interior design the house will adopt,
how many kids they r gonna make... etc etc etc.
See the picture?
Yes. Good!
So, she expressed her disappointment to the guy.
The guy then said r u sure u wanna marry me?
I have some things to tell you
and wonder if u could accept them.
SO the girl was thinking, of course.
She wud wanna know n after all the years of knowing him,
wudnt that prove her readiness to accept him as he is?
Yes, of cos.
She is a loving and caring creature anyway.
So, the guy told her his concerns..
things which she kinda knew already.
His concerns r as follows... .
1)He has loads of loans. Hutang keliling pinggang.
So he is short of money.
Would she be able to accept a husband who is like that?
With less money coming in,
would she be able to accept living in a small house,
with less luxury. Or maybe live with his parents?
Since the girlcame from a well to do family,
would she be able to adjust?
2)The guy loves music and hangin outwith his friends.
Places like Planet Hollywood or pubs are some of them.
Since the girl is not into that kinda places,
would she be able to let him go out
whenever he wants to these night spots when they r married?
4)The guy is not that religiously sound.
SInce a husband shud be the main person
who leads the family,
the guy feels that he might be inadequate
in religious stuff like he doesnt know
how to recite the Quran in Arabic,
or other deeper religious acts.
Would she be able to accept him as such?
Well? Would she? Heres the thing.
After all the years of knowing him,
she has realized all the above concerns
ever since their first year of the rship.
So, upon receiving this from her boyfriend,
she got herself thinking.
Questions like why would he pose such concerns now?
Why didnt he trust her love enough
to be able to realize that she is willing to go all the way?
Hmm... something is not right here..
Lesson number one -
when a guy makes excuses the moment the girl mentions marriage,
that can only mean he is not interested in marriage.
In this case, eventhough the couple
has talked about their marital hopes n dreams together,
after so many years together,
but suddenly when the M word really comes,
the guy wants out.
Why so?
Werent they a couple?
Wasnt marriage their final destination?
Yes..for both at first.
But why did the guy makes such excuses?
Ok..the girl,
smart as she was,
realized that the guy might want
to get rid of her by using all those excuses.
She thought that the guy wants to
scare her with all those worries n
so she would cancel any thought of marrying him.
Ahaaaa... ..this she knew was his plan.
So.u think she is going to say to him
O darling, im so sorry ur having these problems.
Dont worry, Ill be by ur side thru thick n thin.
its ok that u have loans here n there,
im working too so we can share the burden;
its ok that u wanna have time
with ur friends anywher u want,
i have my friends too
so we can always go out separately,
and its ok that u r not religiously sound,
I can teach u how to 'mengaji'. Hahaaa... .!!
NOo...
she didnt say all that cos
he shud know how caring she is
to withstand all problems with him.
She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
She wanted to give him what he wanted to hear.
So she said to him ...
Dear me..Im so sorry u have all those concerns.
But yes, darling... its so obvious to me now.
U r right.
U memang tak mampu kawin I or any girl for that matter.
U r simply not ready in all ways.
Its ok..we dont have to get married then.
Why did she say this to him?
Well dear readers, she also said to him,
Why r u making all these concerns?
Do u wanna scare me off so that i wont wanna marry u?
is that it?
R u trying to get rid of me?
BUt the guy said,
Of course not, if i wanna leave u ,
i might as well say i dont love u anymore.
Fine. She took his answer honestly.
Upon hearing her answer,
the guy got upset and accused her of
insulting him that he tak mampu kawin.
He said she pandang rendah at his difficult life.
He went all the way of acting in a
pathetic pityful manner just to
make her guilty of 'pandang rendah' at his stature.
He said that she was rude n
because she is from an affluent family,
her answer really made him feel low.
He accused her of insulting his status.
So... because of this, the guy felt so down n merajuk.
O yes..the girl did feel guilty..so guilty.
And when the guy in the end wants to break off with her,
she felt guiltier because she thought
her rude answer was the cause.
She apologized to him n said
that she didnt mean to be rude.
She was just being understanding
like a good girlfriend should be.
She felt that he was trying to tell her
he was not ready for marriage n so with his concerns,
she accepted that.
If he is not ready, its ok with her.
MAybe later then.
Well..he forgave her but
he was adamant to break up with her.
Of course , the girl was heartbroken n
fell into despair.
She felt so guilty pf causing the break in the rship.
She wished so hard that
she didnt mean her answer to be rude to him.
But it was done.
Feeling that she was the culprit of the break up,
she just let it go.
Went into twilight zone, day by day,
trying to figure out what went wrong.
Why was her ex wanted to break up too easily n quickly?
Why ? Well... .
as God Almighty is kind to those who r oppressed n hurt,
one day the girl knew the real truth behind the breakup.
Her ex had been having an affair with another girl 6 months ago,
while her rship with the guy was still going on,
while they were still together.
That hurt her the most.
He lied to her.
His concerns about marriage
were just silly pathetic pityful excuses
just to scare her off from marrying him.
She was right all along.
Her instincts were 100% correct.
He made those excuses about hutang, etc.
just to scare her away.
Scare her from marrying him.
He was actually... trying to get rid of her .
Imagine, all this while she thought that
she was the culprit for the breakup.
She thought she was the guilty one.
But he was just play acting..as a sad pityful male.
To gain her pity for him.
Imagine, he accused her of being rude about his status,
and she thought that caused the breakup.
She thought her honest answer to him
was the cause of the breakup.
But her instinct was true.
Earlier, she did realize that her ex
was making the excuses to get rid of her.
She knew. In the end... .
after thousands of apologies to him,
she sent a simple sms ...
"Now i know that i never hurt you at all.
U just wanted to get rid of me
cos u had someone else.
So u lied all the way through.
Very smart but for the record,
now i really believe your status is too low for me".
Soo..is that style of trying to break up familiar
to any one of you?
The pattern of sad pitiful male making excuses,
accusing the female,
n then has the female carry the guilt of the break up,
but only to find, the male is a two-timing rat?
Hahaaa... ... .
Be forewarned... when excuses come out... they r signs for trouble ahead...
Adios..
